Introverts in LA

Welcome. This is the website for the Introverts in LA Meetup Group.

Los Angeles can be a loud and fast-moving place in which to live and play, but your Meetup experience doesn't have to be. For all who identify as introverted in the greater Los Angeles area, this is the group for you.

Maybe you know people who think introverts are boring... We disagree. We're a growing community that enjoys exploring places and events in LA that are fun and interesting... yet on the quieter side. With us, you'll enjoy more one-on-one interaction, and you'll have a great time without having to be that loud or gregarious.

If you're an introvert and you're in the LA area, join us and be your mellow self. Welcome to Introverts in LA.

What is attending a Meetup event like?

For the most part, attending a meetup event is "not as bad as you imagine". What I mean is, if you are thinking about attending a Meetup event, you are probably expecting an experience that's something like hanging out with friends, but worse, especially if you're an introvert. But I have to say, in my experience, it's not like that. For me, it's almost disappointing how similar to hanging out with your friends or family it is.

I had anxiety about attending my first meetup event. Even considering how my anxiety tends to exaggerate things, when I went to my first meetup event I was still surprised how unremarkable it was. What I did experience was a typical meal at a diner, some interesting conversation (with me mostly listening), above average pancakes, a countdown to a time of all 11's, and no one particularly remembering me nor I particularly remembering anyone. So pretty much exactly what I wanted out of that evening.

Here in the Introverts Meetup Group, there are a few unique dynamics. Awkward silences tend not to be so awkward, because we're all introverts and know that we don't mind. And they tend to last a little longer than usual because there isn't an extrovert around who MUST NOT ALLOW SILENCE. Not everyone likes to talk the same amount; a lot of people mainly go to be around people and listen, and that's perfectly fine. If you're like that, people at an Introverts meetup group are likely to try to talk to you... a little. What you won't see is an endless stream of people looking for an ear from anyone who's not talking. Or worse, some well-meaning extrovert making it their personal mission to "bring you out of your shell". We generally understand each other.

Are people who go to events typically regulars, or are they all new?

We get a mixture of regulars and new members pretty reliably. It's not at all cliquish, but some of the regulars do have their inside jokes and common memories (that's kind of an inevitable part of knowing people).

In a typical event, I'd say about a quarter (25%) of those who show up are regulars, about half (50%) are people who've been to events before but not often, and about a quarter (25%) have never been to an event in the group. This can vary, of course. I've hosted a few events where ten people showed up and not one had never been to an event with the group, and a few events where everyone who showed up was someone I already knew. But typically you can expect a mix of regulars and new members.

What kinds of events do you have in this Meetup group?

Introverts in LA holds all sorts of events. We do a lot of introvert-friendly events, of course: quiet events like museums and so on. But not always. For those introverts looking to get out of their comfort zone, we do that stuff too. Basically we do whatever.

Here are some examples of stuff we've done.

This is not an exaustive list. I'm always open to new ideas.

What kinds of events DON'T you have in this Meetup group?

Introverts in LA welcomes has all sorts events, but there are a few kinds of events I don't allow.

These restrictions are mainly for quality control. I've seen good groups falter because the quality events just tanked, and I don't want to let that happen here.

What about demographics?

I'd say we have a pretty good mix. It's one of the great things about Meetups, really: people are not confined to the spheres they are born in.

I did not take any surveys on demographics; these are just my impressions.

What if I RSVPed but can't make it?

I consider an RSVP to be a declaration that you are interested in attending an event, not a promise to attend. Therefore, it is not mandatory to change your RSVP if you're not coming.

If you RSVP but do not attend an event, I promise you nobody is going to take it personally, especially in an Introverts group. Trust me, we've all had those days. (Now, that doesn't mean those who show up won't grumble about the general fact that people often don't show up. But that's not personal, or targeted at anyone in particular.)

Furthermore, there is nothing like bad standing in this group. If you RSVP but don't attend an event, it doesn't mean you can't attend a different event.

Having said all that, many people do consider it polite to change RSVP to No if you know you're not coming. So if you're not coming to the event and your remember to, please take a minute to change your RSVP. It will help me as the host to have a slightly better handle on what to expect.

Should I RSVP if I intend to go to the event but don't want to meet anyone?

If it's not your intention to meet up with the group at the event, I'd prefer you not RSVP. It's Meetup, after all. I would like the RSVP list to be a list of people who are interested to attend the event as a group.

I'd suggest instead to add the event in your own calendar, and to go and have fun at the event with your own group or on your own.

Another possibility is this new feature of Meetup called Saved Events. On the even page, there is button with a star on it in the upper left. Just click the start to save the event. You won't appear in the RSVP list, the organizers won't know that you saved the event, but you will get reminders for the event.

Do I have to have to post a picture?

No.

Introverts in LA considers safety and privacy to be more important than "Meetup correctness". Nobody is required to post a photo or use their real name.

Also, if you are concerned about harrassment ot stalking, you do not even need to RSVP. You may send a private message to the host if you feel weird about showing up unannounced.

(Note: This applies if you are concerned about harrassment. If you are NOT concerned about harrassment, please RSVP.)

Can I host an event?

Yep. Just send me (Carl Banks) a message on Meetup and I'll make you a host. That easy.

What is hosting a meetup like?

So you think you might want to host events of your own? Great, more hosts is a good thing, it makes for a versitile range of experiences.

Hosting is not difficult. The host's main resposibilities are to decide where and when to meet, post the event on the meetup site, make any necessary arrangements such as reserving tables, and be available at the event for attendees to meet. That's it, really. There is no requirement to be the center of conversation, or to organize icebreakers, or do anything else really other than be there for attendees to meet. Even among introverts, there are always always a few who'll spontaneously get conversation going of their own free will once they've found their fellow peeps.

Having said that, it's obviously nice when a host steps up to do more than the minimum. I like to make rounds and try to talk to everyone, especially when there's a large turnout and we're sitting in different places. I try to remember to take a group photo, but I forget about half the time. Little things like that can make events nicer, but are optional.

Perhaps the hardest thing about hosting, and definitely the most frustrating, is not knowing how many will show up. This is a fact of life for Meetup events, and there is almost nothing you can do about it. Typically, more than half who RSVP to an event will not show up, although by the start of the event many of those who aren't going to go will have generously changed their RSVP. As a host, you have simply to accept this and work around it.

The insidious part is that, in rare cases, nearly everyone does show up. So you can't even necessarily plan for a small turnout.

I'd be interested in hosting an event but I'm hesitant.

I understand. For this reason, one thing I offer is to help break in new hosts by co-hosting events.

It's simple: You decide on date and time, and write up the event description. (I can help advise you on some of these decisions.)

Then you post the event and set me up as a co-host. We will both host the event.

What's the deal with the giant rubber duck?

It's basically a signaling beacon: a way to look conspicuous and make it easy to spot me.

If you want to know where I got it, that easy: I ordered if off the Internet.

If you want to know why I got it, well originally I got it to float in the bathtub in my apartment that I never used. (It also had a stand-up shower.) Then I found out I was supposed to keep the bathtub unplugged otherwise frequent backups from the building's ancient plumbing would end up overflowing my sink.

Later on I started using it for Meetups. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And here is your Organizer.